Keyblade Master plus Shinigami equals Hell!
by Gilbert Nightray
Summary: R&R Sora & the gang are new to town, the new town of Karakura Town, where they meet Ichigo, and all hell breaks loose. Another crazy crossover, bad summaries as always. Bleach & Kingdom hearts crossover WARNING: swearing, scenes of crack & major OOC.


Well heres another crazy crack fic Crossover.  
This time its Bleach and Kingdom hearts, are to ready for the excitement?  
HAHA !  
Anyways, if you haven't read my first fic, its hilarious, maybe you should.  
Again like the last time, me&abby wrote it, except for this time britty did all the writing, abby kinda helped pitch the ideas.  
Anyways, we now bring you  
**Keyblade Masters plus Shinigamis equals Hell!**

Brittanyy

* * *

In a world, where a **strawberry** meets a **sky**.  
"…My name is Ichigo" --note ichigo means strawberry in Japanese  
"HEY I'M SORA!"-- note Sora means sky in Japanese

Where they encounter strange things they **can** or **cannot** fight off...  
"What do you think you're doing?!"  
"Fighting that thing, what else?"  
"With that..sword? You're asking to lose"  
"FUCK YOU."

Will they be**_ friends_** or_** enemies**_...  
"I'm going to stab you in the face"  
"WHOA. Keep the peace."

* * *

Sora was casually walking down the streets during the day. He was exploring this new town he had moved to along with Riku, Kairi, Roxas, and Namine.

"What's this town called again? Kurakara Town? Karakara town? Why does this town name have so many r's and a's?!" Sora said, thinking aloud to himself.

He looked at the map he so happen to have brought around.

It read 'Map of Canada'.

"Wow… Where'd I get this map from again?"

-About 5 minutes ago-

Sora was walking down the streets again, when all of a sudden something came flying and whacked him in the face.

"What the hell?" Sora asked himself while taking the paper off his face and shoving it into his pocket.

-flashback over-

"Oh yea... that must've been the paper from 5 minutes ago" Sora said chuckling to himself.

Then Sora started thinking.

"Wait… why is a map of Canada in Japan? And I still don't know the name of this town!"

All of a sudden something shiny caught Sora's eye, making him get distracted from his conversation to himself about why a map of Canada is in Japan, when Canada is half a world away. Or so he thinks. Well anyways the shiny thing that caught his eye was a really shiny, clean penny.

"Wow it's my lucky day! I found a lucky Penny!" Sora said with a huge grin on his face.

As Sora was about to bend down and pick the penny up, his pants made this loud noise and ripped.

Sora got up quickly, turning a bright red. authors note: picture Sora bending down and picking up the penny and all of a sudden his pants ripped. IT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD WHEN HEARING AND PICTURING THIS IN MY HEAD

"At least no one was around to see this… DAMN YOU PENNY. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE LUCKY?"

Sora yelled, kicking the penny.

All of a sudden Sora realized there were people there, watching him. He walked away acting like nothing happened.

"Mommy, did you see that boy? He had pink boxers on!" a little kid said

"Don't stare in places like that, dear." The mother said back, a little concerned about why her daughter was staring there in the first place.

Sora quickly ran back to his new house he shared with his friends and changed pants, being careful he wasn't caught by any of them, for they would never let him live this down. Sora used his, or what he calls, 'ninjas' skills he didn't have, and tried to sneak around the house. Fortunately for him, his room was the first room on the left, right beside the stairs. So all he had to do was go up the stairs. He quickly got to his room, complimenting himself on how impressive his 'ninja' skills are, and changed. He then quickly looked through everyone's room, each one still unpacking their stuff.

'This is a huge house, having 5 rooms and all' Sora thought.

Sora went downstairs and left the house to go explore again.

He walked back to where he was before, penny still there.

Sora ran up to the penny and kicked it, but he missed.

Instead he slipped, and fell flat on his ass.

The penny was untouchable… until a boy walked by and picked it up.

"Cool! I found a penny; it must be my lucky day!"

"FUCK YOU PENNY, FUCK YOU", Sora shouted, as the little boy turned around and asked,

"What does 'fuck' mean?'"

Sora smirked.

"Go ask your mother, she'll be glad you learned a new word."

"Ohkay Mister! Wow, people on the streets sure are nice." The boy skipped happily away.

Sora laughed.

"Not his lucky day after all."

Sora continued to walk around, noticing a school building close by.

"I guess this is the school I'm going to, seeing as it is the nearest one by our new house." Sora said out loud. Then he though 'I have got to stop saying things out loud to myself. Makes it seem like I'm talking to myself.'

Sora reached into his pocket and grabbed out his black flip phone.

He checked the time, which read 9:42pm.

"Shit, I should be heading home now! I still have to make my bed, unpack a few things, shit shit shit!! This may cut into my sleeping time." Sora said, yet again out loud.

Sora started making his way back home. Slowly. You'd think he'd go faster since he needs to do things, but no. He walked slowly. So slow, that a snail could beat him.

Sora continue to make his way, and when someone tried to go past Sora, Sora would walk even more slow, making the person become angry and pushing Sora down to the ground.

"INCONSIDERATE JERK, YOU COULD'VE WALKED AROUND ME", he shouted towards the person who had pushed him.

"NO! I WANTED TO TEACH YOU A LESSON ON HOW YOU'RE MAKING IT INCONVIENT FOR OTHERS, AND YOU CALL ME THE JERK!" The person replied back as they walked off.

Sora wanted to throw that penny at the guy, but then he remembered he didn't have it. Then he chuckled to himself, imagining the talk the mother and the boy will have with the topic of the word 'fuck'. How he imagine his mother slapping him across the face, and how the boy called child services, and the mother beat the boy until child services came and took the mother away. Then they came and told the boy that his mother would have to go away for a long time, and how he couldn't live in a house alone, so he had to live on the streets are starve to death. He then imagine 20 years later, the boy had grown, still living on the streets, and is now stealing food from people who walk past him, while shouting "I'M HOMELESS GIVE ME FOOD!" Sora vowed never to use his imagination again.

Then he thought about not using his imagination, and how his head would blow up because Sora loves his imagination.

Sora used his imagination again.

In the time Sora was thinking about this, a hollow slowly approached him and was about to slash his head, but Sora noticed just in time to block with his keyblade.

"What the fuck is this? A really huge heartless?"

"No, I'm a hollow, and you're my dinner."

"I never asked you who I was, although I really am starving and would like to have din-"

Sora got cut off by the hollow's arm almost smacking him onto the floor.

"Hey! If you don't stop I might have to hurt you."

"HA, I wanna see you try", and the hollow started laughing evilly.

Sora took his keyblade out and started swinging it around trying to hit the hollow.

He whacked the hollow a couple of times, but the hollow just stood there.

"Is that all you've got?" the hollow asked as he whacked Sora against the wall.

"Oww..." Sora said as stared up. For a second, he saw a blinding white light and someone coming towards him.

"God?" Sora asked to the person heading his way.

The person walked towards him. He had a black kimono on, and bright orange hair, more orange then the color orange, if that's possible.

"Woah… I never knew God had orange hair… I would've expected white hair…he is really old."

"I'm not God, but I'm here to rescue you. My name's Ichigo."

"HEY! I'M SORA!" Sora said very happily.

"Now let me ask you something. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TRYING TO DEFEAT THIS THING WITH THAT TINY ASS WANNABEE SWORD? It doesn't even look like a sword. It looks more like a giant key that unlocks doors. Why don't you go shove it somewhere and get outta my way so I can defeat this thing?" Ichigo said as he walked towards the hollow.

'I'm going to shove it somewhere alright,' Sora thought as he got up, angry at the orange-haired boy who had rescued him.

Ichigo had been fighting the hollow, and was winning, but Sora being the not-so bright kid thought he was losing so he decided to fight it also.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Ichigo screamed at Sora.

"Fighting that thing, what else?" Sora screamed back.

"WITH THAT SWORD? You're asking to lose" Ichigo shot back.

"FUCK YOU" Sora retorted, while whacking the hollow with his keyblade.

The hollow had shown no signs of flinching, nor was there a scratch after Sora's keyblade had hit him.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY NOOB." Ichigo yelled, and sliced the hollows masked with one blow.

"Don't call me a noob." Sora said in a calm voice.

"I can call you whatever I feel like calling you, bitch." Ichigo shot back.

"you know what?"

"No I don't know."

"LET ME FINISH. Gosh, anyways you should be nicer to strangers. Are you like this with everyone you meet?" Sora asked.

"No, but you were such a bastard who can't follow simple instructions like 'get outta my way' so I have to SCREAM IT INTO YOU." Ichigo said raising his voice as he went, as if irritated.

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME."

"YOU thought I was God AND I rescued you and now YOU'RE commanding me around?" Ichigo said grabbing a tight hold on his sword, as if ready to slice off Sora's head.

"Well I don't care, iStrawberry/i," Sora said with a tiny smirk.

"MY NAME IS NOT STRAWBERRY. ITS ICHIGO. MEANS ONE WHO PROTECTS. GODDAMNIT. I'M GOING TO STAB YOU IN THE FACE."

"WOAH. KEEP THE PEACE." Sora said.

"I was only kidding."

"Don't joke about my name, bitch." Ichigo stated.

"Don't call me a bitch, bastard." Sora shot back.

"Asshole."

"Fucker."

"Retard"

"Fucktard"

"Whore."

"MANwhore"

"OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH. WE'LL SETTLE THIS WITH A FIGHT." Ichigo shouted pointing his sword to Sora's face.

"ALRIGHT BRING IT ON PRETTY BOY!" Sora shouted, grabbing out his keyblade.

This battle was pretty pointless. Everytime someone tried to slice the other, they'd just dodge it. In the surrounding, all you could really here is clanging noises.

"Let's just end this. BANKAI" Ichigo shouted with turning into his bankai form. His whole outfit changed right infront of his eyes, and his sword got slimmer, allowing Ichigo to move faster.

"Oh yea? Well I can change too! FINAL FORM!" Sora shouted turning into his final form. He wore the same thing, except for it turned silver. Also, he now had 2 keyblades, the Oathekeeper and Oblivion.

"Bring it." Sora shouted.

"GETSUGA TENSHOU" Ichigo shouted as his sword let out an attack.

It nearly hit Sora, although it did skim his hair just a bit.

"MY HAIR!" Sora shouted as he watched one or two strands fall out.

"oh you'll pay for this. BLIZZARD!"

Ichigo dodged it and he placed his hand across his face.

"What are you doing now? Another lame attack I'll just block with my awesome ninja skillz" Sora asked while swinging his 2 keyblades around, being careful not to hit himself in the face with it.

"Ending this in 11 seconds" Ichigo said, pulling out his hollow mask.

"Oh so you brought out a mask, what's that gonna d-" He was cut off by Ichigo attacking him.

"FUCK, MOVE FASTER FEET!" Sora screamed.

"Hehe, I got you now, Bitch!" Ichigo smirked.

All of a sudden, the battle was interrupted.

"FUCKING HELL SORA. IS THAT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME? GET YOUR ASS HOME AND UNPACK YOUR SHIT CAUSE NOONE ELSE IS FUCKING GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU. ITS LIKE 11:52pm AND WE DON'T WANNA BE UP ALL NIGHT HEARING NOISES BECAUSE YOU ARE UNPACKING. GODDAMNIT AND I WANT MY KEYBLADES BACK. COME BACK OATHKEEPER AND OBLIVION. Geez." Roxas shouted with an angry look, while he was wearing black and white shorts that looked like it could've been his boxers, and a long white T-shirt. All of a sudden the keyblades went from Sora's hand to Roxas'.

"Don't worry, Sora will never take you guys away from me again!" Roxas said to his two keyblades.

"You could've atleast changed from the clothes you sleep in, and I was in the middle of an important battle!" Sora cried to Roxas.

"I really don't care. NOW GET YOUR ASS HOME." Roxas screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Woah, chill Roxas. Don't need to scream like a girl", Sora laughed.

"Roxas is not amused," Roxas said with a bit of anger in his voice.

"What the hell is going on here?" Ichigo questioned, confused.

"THIS BATTLE IS OVER, SORA'S GOING HOME, AND WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE, STAY AWAY FROM HIM, HE SAVES THE WORLD YA KNOW." Roxas shouted, trying to defend Sora.

"I SAVE THE WORLD TOO. INFACT I SAVE 2 WORLDS."

"Well I save more then two worlds" Sora said, proud of himself.

"Whatever. I'm going home." Ichigo said. "I hope I never see your face ever again."

"Never wanna see yours either." Sora retorted as Ichigo was leaving.

He and Roxas started to walk home.

"Why were you fighting this guy?" Roxas questioned Sora.

"Because he was being a total bastard. Thinking he's better then me." Sora muttered.

"Hmp. Well atleast we'll never see him again." Roxas said, knowing that was probably not true.

"Come to think of it. This all started because I was walking around this town." Sora said, looking back at today.

"ha, this must've been a very fun day." Roxas said. "Too bad I was to busy UNPACKING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE."

"Well sorry. I had to do some work too. Walking around, exploring, meeting new people, fighting big monsters. It was a hard day you know!" Sora said in defense.

"Well this is just the start of all the adventures we'll have in this new town." Roxas said with a small laugh.

"FUCK. Which reminds me. WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS TOWN?" Sora shouted.


End file.
